


Let Go

by youllalwaysfitinwithme



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Anger, Canon Compliant, F/M, Rated teen and up for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7626505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youllalwaysfitinwithme/pseuds/youllalwaysfitinwithme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raven was all in favour of living peacefully and getting along, but, sharing road and fate with the same people who’d been trying to wipe them out on countless occasions? The same people who’d killed their friends and turned them into killers? <br/>She just couldn’t get her head around that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Go

They had been marching for several days now, hundreds of people on a final exodus that would either lead them to their survival, or bring them closer to their deaths. Whichever the outcome, that journey was torture for Raven, but it had nothing to do with the pain on her leg -that, she could bare-, it had rather to do with their company.

Since the world was ending, grounders had finally agreed to a truce that would guarantee peace. Initially, Raven had been relieved to know that they could finally get a break from watching over their backs all the time, however, that relief had been short lived, as she learnt that the grounders would be marching with them. Raven was all in favour of living peacefully and getting along, but, sharing road and fate with the same people who'd been trying to wipe them out on countless occasions? The same people who'd killed their friends and turned them into killers? She just couldn't get her head around that.

For the better part of their journey, she had managed to avoid them as much as  possible, being in charge of the rover and basically staying out of any politics. But in the last days, Bellamy had managed to unpurposely savotage her by making amends with Roan. Ever since they got back from Polis, those two and Clarke had been mediating between Azgeda and their people, and apparently, they had been bonding too, since the king's presence among them was gradually becoming less and less rare. 

Raven couldn't cope with that. Specially not with him, not with the Ice Nation. 

They had been responsible for the explosion at Mt. Weather, the same explosion that took Gina's life among many others; the very same explosion that almost took hers. Raven didn't care what a good ally he had been to them in Polis: Roan meant Ice Nation, and Ice Nation meant death. Of all the wounds the grounders had caused her, blowing up Mt. Weather was the most recent, and the pain was still there. The resentment, the rage, the hatred...they were all still there, and Raven feared for the continuity of their truce should she ever let those out.

 

And she let them out.

 

Raven had been following her routine of focusing on her people and taking care of the rover when it happened. During their break, she had wandered downhill to the river with a few empty bottles on her hands. It was supposed to be a short detour, a moment of solitude to rest from the constant company and get some fresh water on her face. However, once she'd been done filling the bottles, she turned around to the sight of Roan standing there, watching over her.

"I thought you might need help" he said, approaching her at a cautious pace. Raven stared at him in disbelief. If her eyes had been capable of shooting something, they would have shot disdain straight into his chest, just enough to kill him. He was there as if nothing stood between them, as if he could just look past Mt. Weather and carry on with their mission, with their newfound alliance. 

He could do that, but Raven certainly couldn't.

"I don't need your help" she answered, picking up the bottles from the ground and hardly making her way past him. He grabbed hold of her arm and made her stop. "Get off!" she shook her arm and got rid of his hold. One of the bottles fell to the ground, the water spilling all over the dirt, "fucking great" Raven murmured as she handed -or rather threw- the other bottle at Roan. "Get this to the car or get lost. Whatever happens first."

With the brace preventing her from bending her leg, Raven did the best she could to crouch down and pick up the almost empty bottle from the ground. She turned around and walked back toward the river, the current was fast and turbulent as she painfully crouched down again and let the bottle fill.

"What happened to your leg?" Roan asked from behind, closer than she had left him. Raven closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, the bleak air making its way through her body till it settled deep in her stomach.

"I told you to leave" was all she answered, but Roan didn't comply. He got closer instead, and sat on the dirt with an amused expression. Raven's hands were freezing from the water, but inside her there were bursting flames. She wished she could take all that fire out and make the prince blow up with it, just like he had blown up the mountain.

"You don't want this truce" he told as Raven got up, the bottle heavy in her grasp. "Why?" 

"I want this truce," she said, "as much as I want your people to find their own safe place."

"Have my people offended you?" Roan asked, genuinely curious. "Have I?"

"You almost got me killed back in Mt. Weather" Raven spat the words, her gaze focused on the trees in front of her, not on the man sitting at her right. "You killed a bunch of my friends there too. Is that good enough a reason for you to leave me the hell alone?"

It turned out it wasn't. As soon as she was back behind the rover's wheel, the passenger door opened and the curious gaze of the man inspected the inside of the vehicle as he occupied the empty seat next to her, or rather, the space next to her, since his frame was ridiculously big for the car's insides. Raven felt tiny by his side, but she didn't let it show. She didn't let her sadness show either; that wasn't for her enemies to see, that's what hate was for. Her rage was a shield.

"Get the hell out" she said calmly, not even bothering to look at him. Raven tried not to drown in his scent, but it was all over the place, impossible to escape. Wood, soil, sweat. Nobody smelled nice on that damned planet; they all smelled of nature, of nights spent in the wilderness and of the fire they had lit up to keep warm. It was the scent of grounders, and Raven hated it.

"You need to get over the mountain" he replied, and Raven thought he almost sounded concerned. "Not everyone is as understanding as me-"

"Understanding!?" she cut him, finally looking him in the eyes, "You killed my people! You almost killed me! Damn, you destroyed  a safe place where we could've survive this fucking apocalypse! I don't need you to be understanding, I need you to fuck off."

Roan didn't look bothered at her shouting, instead, Raven thought he almost looked worried. The king didn't like it when the truth was spilling right in front of his eyes, she thought. He did awful things, but didn't like to be reminded of them. Well, Raven had a whole lot of reminding for him to do.

"My mother attacked the mountain, not me." Roan said, his voice deep and loud within the car confinement, "And yes, you need me to be understanding because I am the only person keeping Azgeda in this truce."

"Then leave. All of you. We don't need you."

"And then what? You fight us?" he wondered, almost laughing. Raven closed her fists around the wheel. It was bad enough that she was arguing with a grounder, she didn't want any more trouble by hitting him as well. 

But he was striving for a punch.

"You think we won't fight for whatever place is survivable?" he questioned, amused and worried. "If we leave now, nothing guarantees that you'll live to see tomorrow. We don't need sides on this. Your leaders understand that, and you should too."

"I do!" Raven shouted, her words hitting the glass and feeling louder than they were, "I want the truce! I just don't want to see you face every passing day because it reminds me of them, you asshole murderer!"

Raven breathed heavily, her mouth twisted in repulse. She had been wanting to avoid this, the confrontations that would put the truce at risk, but she couln't keep it in if they came looking for it. Roan didn't seem affected, though. His eyes still focused, his shoulders still squared.

"It wasn't me" he repeated, his voice getting louder, his patience eventually wearing off, "I was a prisoner of the commander!"

"Oh right, I forgot" Raven fake laughed, shaking her head. "You were trying to get Clarke killed, right? Wanheda?" she questioned, but didn't wait for the answer that Roan clearly wanted to spill from his lips, "Well, I've got fucking news for you, that's the same thing! You are all the same! Who cares if you weren't at the mountain!? You were trying to kill someone else instead. THAT'S ALL YOU PEOPLE KNOW! And I'm sick of it."

Roan stared at her, this time wordless. Raven felt his gaze like burning metal on her skin, but she didn't look away. She stared right back, her eyes daring his to try and fight her, her hands closed in fists over the wheel. She felt loosened, actually; like after all that time holding up, that moment of shouting and relief had somehow brought her some peace. But she had still so much more fighting inside of her, so much more shouting and pain to be relieved. Her eyes promised battles, but his' weren't willing to fight. Roan shook his head in slow motion and reached for her hand, a strange moment that had no place in there, but that happened all the same. 

"Let go of the mountain" he said again, but this time it felt like an advise, like a plea that had nothing to do with the truce, but rather with her comfort. "And be careful how you look at the clans, they've noticed your anger too. Let me warn you again, not everyone is as understanding as I am." Then, he loosened the grip on her hand and left. Raven felt her skin cold where his touch had left her.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my submission for the Ice Mechanic July challenge on Tumblr.   
> I really would love to see Ice Mechanic happening on the show, but I think a conversation like this would be necessary first...so here's how I think it would go! If you have any thoughts or theories I would love to hear about them!  
> You can find me on Tumblr as youwillalwaysfitinwithme


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